Starting Anew
by tv-addict007
Summary: Who he was? He didn't know. Not anymore. Everything was gone in a second. His whole life a mystery to him, and the little flame that was his life glowed all alone in the darkness. But maybe the world would soon be lightened up, showing him a way out and into life again. AU with hints of Caskett. Part one of three.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys,**

 **I thought I should give you some sign of life. Life had been hectic and complicated, so I hadn't had a lot of time to write. To anyone reading** _ **Love At First Explosion**_ **and/or** _ **Journey of Love**_ **, I'm very sorry that you have to wait so long for the next chapter – again. But various occurrences kept me from updating.**

 **During the heatwave in Germany, I was in absolutely no mood to work on the chapters after I've spend a little over eight hours in front of my computer at work, feeling like I was in a sauna. I just went home and searched for the coolest place, not really in the mood to do anything. It wasn't helping that it didn't cool down in the evening either. The weather really wore me out, bringing me to my limits. 104°F in the shadow – daily – is too much.**

 **Adding to this, I was involved in a car accident. Nothing bad happened, just material damage. But it's still enough to create more trouble than it really had to be. Especially when you need the car to get to work.**

 **But during my vacation I recovered from the hectic and started this new story. Of course I'm still working on the other two fics as well, the next chapter of LAFE is in the works and I used the time while being on vacation to re-plan JoL. But this new story is downright pouring out of my fingers.**

 **As it looks now, there will be sixteen chapters, but that can change since I haven't finished it yet. I'm working on chapter ten as we speak. Furthermore, I plan this to be the first part of a three-story-arc. I already have the titles for the sequels, as well as some great scenes and the general direction.**

 **Anyway, I don't want to keep holding you back from reading the first chapter. I really hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

She straightened her soft summer scarf and tightened her coat as a light evening breeze caught up to her, slowly swapping the hot summer days into the cooler ones of autumn. Soon the trees will lose their leaves, preparing the nature for the icy winter time.

Johanna Beckett was just on her way to meet one of her clients, having squeezed him in between two other meetings, giving her the chance to spend more time with her family the next day. That was, if nothing else would turn up till then.

As she walked down the two blocks towards the little café where she'd meet her client, Johanna went over the list of things she'd have to buy later tonight, though a block away from her destination she felt a wave of chills going down her back. Turning her head slightly to the left Johanna saw a man crossing the street, walking towards her in a little bit of a hurry. Shaking her head about her sudden fit of paranoia, she still grabbed her bag tighter with her right hand and walked instinctively in a quicker pace.

Suddenly a shadow flashed out of a side street and a big, yet lean body crashed into her right side, ultimately making her sway to the left until she found her footing again, though she came to a complete stop when she saw that the man who crashed into her cut her off from her path, a crooked smile was on his face as he leered at her. Johanna immediately turned around, wanting to go back and out to the more open and lively street, however the man she had seen earlier coming towards her was already waiting behind her with the same sick smile on his lips. Based on the faces of the two men, Johanna noticed that they had to be related somehow.

Mugging seemed to run in their family, Johanna thought sarcastically.

"Well, look at what we have here, Hank! What a nice piece of body." The one who had followed her from behind spoke up.

"Yeah." Hank hummed. "Not often that one of the middle-class people are walking down our streets."

The smaller one, which name hadn't been mentioned yet, stepped closer and his eyes flickered to her bag. "Shall we look what she brought us?"

"Please, I don't want any trouble. There's nothing in there that could be of interest for you. If you would just let me go, we can forget this ever happened." Johanna said. Normally she was not afraid to stand up to someone who challenged her, talking them down and letting her lawyer-side take over. However she was in a quiet street, no one close enough to help and even when those two weren't one of the more dangerous people she had already met in her life, she still could do the math. Two against one – two _men_ against one _woman_ – was not working in her favor.

"Quiet! _We_ decide what's of interest and what's not!" Hank grumbled and pulled out a pocket knife. The other one would probably also be armed, she guessed.

Since Johanna stood facing Hank, she didn't notice the other one grabbing her bag and tearing it from her shoulder. Gasping in surprise, she turned around and watched the man dig through her belongings.

"And? What's in there, Jeff?" Hank asked curiously, though grew restless when Jeff didn't answer, drawing Johanna closer to his body holding the knife to her throat. "Jeff!"

Jeff scoffed annoyed and glanced back up to her and Hank. "That bitch said the truth. There only papers, pencils and other useless things in there."

"What?!" Hank replied and Johanna had to repress a smile and the words _I told you so_. They wouldn't help her out of this situation. Still, this was her business bag and she wasn't carrying expensive stuff with her while at work. She could offer them nothing. Not that she even wanted to.

Jeff looked suspiciously at Johanna. "Search her! There's no way that she walks around without a wallet or something."

Hank grabbed her left arm and pushed her towards the hard wall of a shabby and neglected building. She lifted her hands up in the last moment to dampen her crash.

Hank was just about to let his greasy hands glide over her body, as all of the sudden a voice not that far away called out to them. "Hey!"

Surprised by the third voice Johanna shifted her body to the right side, searching for the person whom had dared to interrupt the plans of the two men who had caged her against a cold stone wall. She inhaled sharply as she saw the person running towards them – the one that was supposed to help her out of this situation – was the exact opposite of what she had hoped for.

She felt slightly stupid for hoping for a police officer – knowing that she couldn't be that lucky. So Johanna settled for the image of a man – again. Tall and muscular. Intimidating. Any attribute which would easily scare away her two assailants without any further hassle.

But as she saw a boy around the same age as her daughter hurrying towards them – his intention of helping her clearly visible – she felt a sense of dread overcome her again. Not for herself. No, they'd have certainly made her feel uncomfortable, would have taken everything she had with her without caring if they could need it or not. But Johanna had been sure they wouldn't have harmed her. At least not seriously.

Now, however, she was frightened that this situation would get out of control and that things would get ugly. The boy might be tall and broad-shouldered, and looked like he was pretty much able to hold himself in a fight, but the two men were armed and the boy was no match against them.

What was the boy even going here anyway?!

Jeff and Hank seemed to come to the same conclusion as she did, because only Jeff prepared himself for the arrival of the boy. Hank kept a steady grip on her, yet stayed with his back facing her.

Jeff swept with the knife at the boy when he was close enough, but luckily the boy must have expected this and dodged it, yet wasn't quickly enough to avoid the knife completely catching the teenager at his left arm, the contact between knife and skin was followed by a cry of surprise. Johanna saw something red soaking through the boy's sleeve, though the now injured teenager wasn't letting it show in his movements.

His cry however made Johanna more restless, struggling against the firm grip Hank had her in though her movements draw Hank's attention back towards her, leaving Jeff and the boy to themselves.

Since now only one pair of eyes were on her, she had a chance to fight back. Lifting her right foot Johanna slammed her heel into the right foot of Hank who screamed as her six-inch-heel bored its way through the thin material of his shoe and into his flesh. That must hurt like hell, Johanna thought pleased with herself.

She saw Jeff struggling back, having been distracted by Hank's yell and she noticed that the boy got some good hits on Jeff. Whipping her head back around and being finally able to face Hank instead of having her back to him, she rammed her knee into his stomach and Hank doubled over in pain. Another scream of the boy drew her attention back to him and Jeff, seeing him crouched down while holding his right side.

Hank had recovered from her hard blow faster than she expected and used the moment of her being distracted to grab her and toss her around, making her land hard on the cold ground. She felt some liquid making its way down her face and her world was spinning slightly.

Johanna heard Hank coming closer to her, could already imagine his smug expression of having now the upper hand in their fight. Slowly gaining focus again she searched for something to use against Hank. To her right side laid an old wooden pillar. Grabbing it, Johanna quickly got onto her knees and wielded the pillar with both hands at Hank, catching him – more out of luck than anything else – on his head. Hank sunk down to the ground and seemed to be out cold, only the slight movement of his chest indicated that he was still alive.

Her heart slammed hard against her rips, adrenaline was pumping through her veins. She had laughed at her husband this morning for wanting to play hooky with her today. Normally he wasn't one to suggest things like that, both of them loved their jobs and had no problems with having to go to work. But now and then they were caught up with themselves or with their daughter, and thoughts like skipping work run through their heads. But she had dismissed him quickly, knowing that she was packed with meetings today. Instead she had her fun with her husband, teasing him mercilessly before leaving the house. Now she wished she'd have just accepted his offer and stayed in bed with him!

Turning her head Johanna saw how Jeff was plunging his knife into the left side of the boy, ending the power struggle between the boy and Jeff. "No!" Johanna breathed silently, still catching her breath from her own fight with Hank.

Jeff shoved the boy away, watching how the teenager quickly lost his balance and fell backwards onto the street, the knife still in his left side. Though Jeff looked like he hadn't expected it to have had to fight that hard against a teenager, he put his hands on his knees and took deep and controlled breaths. Using his distraction, Johanna closed the distance between her and Jeff and knocked him out just like she did with Hank.

Johanna watched the two unconscious men for a few seconds, observing any indication that one of them would get up any time soon. But they both seemed to be out for some time and she threw the pillar away, hurrying over to the injured teen.

His breathing was unsteady, blood was seeping out of the wound on his left side. His eyes were half closed and unfocused, sweat was forming on his forehead. Johanna wasn't a doctor, and definitely had no medical experience, but she knew that if she'd wanted the boy to survive, she'd had to get help – soon.

Her eyes flickered over the side street searching for her bag which contained her cell. Quickly locating the bag she got out her cell while moving back to the boy. She hoisted his head on her legs, combing his hair from his face while she dialed the emergency number.

"Come on, son. You need to stay with me." She whispered, hoping that help would arrive soon.

* * *

 **I'm pretty much motivated with this story, but some reviews will always help to increase my motivation** **. Besides I'm really curious of how you like it so far….**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow guys, you obviously like the storyline so far. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

 **Thanks for all who favorited, followed and especially reviewed. I love you!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Jim Beckett was feeling thousands of things at the same time. Worry for his wife's health. Fear that she could be seriously hurt, despite her telling him that she was alright since she was always sugarcoating things for him. Fury at her for keeping their phone call short, not helping him keep his worry at bay. Curiosity at what exactly had happened. Hatred at any person whom had dared to lay a hand on his wife. But most of all Happiness. Happiness that she was at least able to call him herself and not let him get a call from the hospital.

As he entered the hospital his need of seeing his wife and holding her tight to his body was overwhelming. Keeping her close to him and not letting her out of his sight again. He'd re-scheduled all of his appointments for the day and tomorrow, was even prepared to re-schedule more of his appointments. Sure, his clients weren't that happy about his last-minute cancellations, but his family was Jim's first priority. He should probably be happy that his boss let him get off like that.

"Excuse me, I'm Jim Beckett. I'm here for my wife Johanna Beckett. Where can I find her?" Jim asked the nurse as he arrived at the reception.

"Jim!"

The familiar soft and warm voice of his wife called out for him, and as he turned his head he saw her standing a few feet away from him. Her hair was a mess and there was a cut over her right eyebrow that had been stitched probably not even an hour ago. The lower part of her white blouse was bloody, and Jim felt his heart skip a beat at the thought that this could be her blood. Her hands were hanging on her sides, her fingers slightly trembling. Her eyes held a certain desperation in them, one he had never wanted to see in them.

He never noticed his feet dragging him towards his wife, having been deep in thoughts while studying her appearance he suddenly found himself in a tight embrace, his own arms around her tiny frame pulling her as close to him as he could. Her head rested under his jaw, taking in the comforting smell of him in deep breaths as he put his lips on her head.

"Thank God you're alright!" He whispered into her ear and he felt her nod against him, holding him even tighter. "I love you so much. I don't know what I've done if something would've happened to you."

Lifting her head from her husband's chest she drew her arms up his body and rested her hands on his cheeks, giving him a soothing yet teary smile. "Shh, everything's okay. I'm here. I'm okay."

"You don't look okay." Jim encountered, following softly the line of her cut above her eye, barely even touching it.

"It's nothing." She kept assuring him, swiping away a lone tear that escaped her eye. "It's just that everything's catching up to me, I think."

"What happened, Jo?"

"I took a shortcut to one of my meetings. It was a quiet side street, I thought nothing of it. I mean, the sun was still shining. I thought it was safe at this time of day. But two armed men were there, probably just waiting for a victim they could rob."

"The blood on your-" Jim started, glancing down to her ruined blouse.

"It's not mine. A boy – he can't be that much older than Katie – came into the street, wanting to help me. We managed to fight against the two men, but he was stabbed by one of them. They took him into surgery."

"What about the two men?"

Johanna smiled slightly as she thought back, knocking them out for the time being. She wasn't someone who liked violence, disapproved any form of it. But she was defending herself. Herself and the boy, and after seeing what the two men have done and what they hadn't been afraid of doing, Johanna wasn't sorry for what she had to do. "The police took them. I have to get over to the precinct for my statement, but I'll see to it that they'll be charged for attempted robbery and assaulting."

Jim nodded. "Where are you things?"

"On a chair in the waiting room around the corner."

"Okay, let's fetch them and get you home."

Johanna shook her head. "I can't. Not yet. The boy is still in surgery."

"You want to wait until he's out of surgery?" Jim asked.

"Yeah. I need to know that he'll be okay. Maybe even talk to him, or his parents. I want to thank him for his braveness. He must have realized that he wouldn't stand a chance against them, but still he came." Johanna mused, shaking her head at the boy's actions. "Being a mother myself, I'd really like to scold him for bringing himself into harm's way."

"Maybe his parents will do it."

"But it wouldn't be fair, seeing that he wanted to help. There aren't many people out there whom still hold this kind of courage."

"Being a parent isn't easy, you know that. A lot of tough calls."

Johanna wanted to reply something as she saw a doctor coming through the slide doors and making his way to the waiting room. Walking over, closely followed by Jim, Johanna arrived as the doctor was about to leave again. "Excuse me, Dr. Walsh. Are there any news on the boy?"

Turning surprised around, Dr. Walsh smiled at her. Johanna had asked him to inform her about the boy's well-being while he had rolled the stretcher towards surgery. Normally she knew that she wouldn't get any information about the state of one of the patients she had no relation to, but the authority of her lawyer side and the fact, that she had been there when the boy had gotten stabbed, had helped her to get the middle-aged doctor to agree.

"The boy's alright. He'll make a full recovery."

"Thank God!" Johanna said, feeling the weigh being lifted from her shoulders. "Is there a chance I could speak to him?"

Dr. Walsh sighed. "He'll be out for the next hours. At the moment he'll be moved into a room. But as soon as he's awake I can get you."

"Thank you."

The doctor nodded and bid his farewell, needing to tend to his other patients. Turning around, she saw her husband looking knowingly at her. "I need to."

"I know." He sighed and smiled at her. "I love you all the more for it."

Returning his smile, she breathed a gentle his onto his lips. "You should go home. Katie will be home soon."

"I'll come back with her."

Johanna shook her head. "No. You two don't need to spend the night on hard hospital chairs. Besides Katie has school in the morning."

"I don't want to let you alone." Jim admitted.

"Nothing will happen to me, Jim. I'm safe here. I promise I'll come home as soon as I know the boy's alright and that his parents are with him."

Jim nodded, knowing that he couldn't make her change her mind. His daughter and his wife shared a high level of stubbornness. "Okay, but you'll call me when you're done. I'll come to pick you up."

"Fine." Johanna agreed, giving her husband one last kiss on the lips before sending him on his way home. She felt sorry for sending him away after what happened, but she felt like she needed to stay. And their daughter would be home soon after having spent the afternoon at her best friend's house. She'd have been worried if she and Jim would have spent the night away without further notice. She'd immediately knew that something must have happened and would start to worry.

Turning back to the waiting room, Johanna prepared herself for a long and uncomfortable night.

* * *

Opening her eyes a few hours later, Johanna glanced tiredly at her watch. Four hours had passed since she had sent Jim home. After stretching her sore limbs she looked around the waiting room, but she saw no new faces.

Getting up she made her way towards the reception. It was now dark outside, the hospital silent since visiting hours were officially over for the day. Johanna cleared her throat as she approached the nurse at the reception. "Hi, I'm Johanna Beckett. I've been admitted earlier today. There was a boy with me who had been stabbed. Do you know if his parents were already informed? They're not here yet."

"One moment." The nurse replied, typing some words into her computer. Johanna glanced around the entrance hall. It was almost scary how quiet it was. "Richard Castle, age sixteen, stab wound into his left sight, two deeper cuts into right side and left arm. Having been admitted this afternoon after a failed attempt of robbery."

"Yeah, exactly. I've also been involved." _Richard Castle._ At least she had a name now.

The nurse kept staring into her computer monitor, while starting to slowly shake her head. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. Apparently the boy is an orphan. But social service is already informed and they'll send someone as soon as they can."

Johanna looked surprised at the nurse. The boy was an orphan? He had no one whom would come and be with him. He was alone. Thanking the nurse, Johanna returned to the waiting room deep in thought. Theories about his parents shot through her head. Had there been an accident? Didn't they want him? We're they sick? Violent? Missing? Didn't he have any other relatives? One whom could have taking in the poor boy? Any relative or even family friend was better than being stuck in the system.

She knew that the state was just trying to help children, but there were too much and too few social workers and facilities. They may have a roof over their heads, enough food and clothes, but it wasn't a happy life. It wasn't a life any children deserved to have. Yet she also knew that they weren't living in a perfect world, and it was better than living on the streets.

Dr. Walsh found Johanna an hour later sitting on her chair in the waiting room. He sat down beside her, obviously taking a break from his work. After a few seconds he turned his head towards her and broke the silence, though he kept his voice low. Probably so that he wasn't disturbing any of the other people in the waiting room, but maybe it was the silence of the night which almost seemed like a sacrilege to disturb. "He woke up a few minutes ago."

"Do you know that he's an orphan?"

He sighed, his eyes leaving her face as he now stared at his feet. "Yeah, I knew. I've had him on my operation table before."

That got her attention. "You had him in surgery before?"

"Strange how small the world is, right?" He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "He and his father had been in a car accident. A drunk driver ran over a red light and slammed into their car. His father died while still being at the accidental side. The boy had been admitted with internal bleeding, broken bones and a severe head trauma. Back then it looked like he wouldn't make it, and he slipped into a coma. But apparently he's a fighter. He woke up a few weeks later and physically recovered from his injuries. Sadly he suffered memory loss caused by the head trauma. He can't remember anything from before he woke up. He had been released into the care of the social service five months ago."

"Five months?"

"Yeah. Didn't think that I'd see him again. At least not _that_ soon."

Johanna frowned, her heart aching for the young boy laying somewhere in the hospital, having already suffered so much in his few years on this earth. "What about his mother?"

Dr. Walsh shrugged. "I don't know. As far as I know, social services is still looking for her. But he's sixteen. He'll probably be eighteen or older by the time they find her." He scoffed, obviously not being happy with the procedures of the social service. "You want to go and see him?"

Nodding, Johanna grabbed her things and stood up. "Lead the way, Doctor."

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 **Please leave a review on your way out. They'll the best part of posting stories :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone,**

 **Back from the weekend with a new update. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

The face of the teenager was a little pale, telling her that he probably lost quite a bit of blood. Johanna got closer to the hospital bed wanting to get a better view of him, the steady raising of his chest barely noticeable. A few wires were disappearing beneath the covers and the steady tone of the heart monitor rung through the silent room.

Staring around the room the curtains were closed and the light in the room was dimmed so that it wasn't too bright. This room was the epitome of loneliness, but that impression could easily come from her knowledge of his background.

Sitting down on the chair next to his hospital bed, Johanna watched him for a moment. His eyes moved beneath his lids and it took a few seconds, but his head was turning slightly into her direction and she found herself being watched by a pair of blue eyes. Though something about them seemed off.

"Good morning, Richard." Johanna smiled. He frowned at her but opted to stay silent for now. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" The boy started, his voice a little rough and graced with fatigue. "I've been worse."

His tone was light-hearted, as if it was normal for such a young soul to live through the things he'd had to. His no-nonsense attitude towards his experience with hospitals and medical treatment conjured a sad smile on her lips. "You're talking about your accident."

This obviously caught him off guard, not having known that she knew about this, and his eyes widened in surprise but his mask of indifference was quickly put back in place after just a few seconds. "He told you."

He must be talking about Dr. Walsh, Johanna guessed. The doctor was probably the only one whom had talked to the teenager before she did. "Yeah."

"You know, he violated the hospital policy by that."

This time she was the one to widen her eyes in surprise, absolutely not having expected him to mention his rights. "You're right. He did. Will you sue him for that?"

"No." The boy sighed.

Johanna took a moment to think of something to say. The hurt teenager was more uncommunicative than she had thought he would. But maybe it was a defensive mechanism, protecting himself from any further harm. She was – after all – a stranger to him. One stranger of millions others in a huge world he was living in all by himself. "Thanks for helping me out back there."

Again, the boy only shrugged, careful not to move his bandaged body too much.

"I know it isn't any of my business, but what exactly did you do in the side street." That one had been on her mind the moment she had seen him running to her help. There had been nothing close by he could've headed over to.

"I was on my way to the library."

"The library? But that was four blocks from us." She stated, but she was only met by silence again. "Not a fan of buses, huh?"

"No money."

Johanna glanced towards the covered window, thinking of anything else to say. It was clear that her presence threw him off, maybe even making him feel uncomfortable and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Maybe it was time for her to leave him, let him sleep a little. She could stop by later the day.

She was just thinking of a good time for her next visit and almost didn't hear him speak up. Almost. "Why are you here?"

The confusion was clearly hearable in his voice, and she was sure that it was accompanied with a touch of curiosity.

"You saved me."

"I played a human pincushion, nothing more."

"No. You helped me there. Sadly, not many would've done what you did."

Another shrug, a _not-a-big-thing_ -gesture.

"I should let you get some rest." She said, getting up from her seat next to his bed and walking over to the door. "I'll stop by some other time, okay Richard?"

"Rick."

"What?" Johanna asked confused.

"You can call me Rick."

She smiled. "Get some sleep, Rick."

With that she walked out of the door, making her way out of the hospital. Johanna hauled a cab, slightly feeling bad for not keeping her promise of calling her husband to pick her up. But it was the middle of the night and she didn't want to wake him. She'd be fine, the cab drive wouldn't take long and she'll be finally able to crawl into her bed and be engulfed in the embrace of the man she loved.

On her way home she looked out of the window, silently chiding herself for already starting to get attached to the lonely soul she left in a too big hospital room in the middle of the night.

* * *

Opening the front door and entering the comforting place of her home, Johanna was surprised to see the light still on in the kitchen. Getting out of her shoes and coat and putting down her bag, she moved silently towards the source of the light, finding her husband and daughter sitting at the kitchen island, both nursing a cup of hot chocolate.

Drinking a hot chocolate when she couldn't sleep was a habit of hers. One she did share with her daughter. Every time Katie would wake up because of a bad dream, or couldn't fall asleep due to loud thunder and too bright flashes, they'd shuffle down to the kitchen and make themselves some hot chocolate. After some years down the road Jim had adopted their habit, resulting in little family meetings in the middle of the night while sharing a cup of cocoa.

"You're still up?"

Two sets of brown eyes flickered surprised up to her. "Jo?!"

"Mom!" Her daughter exclaimed and quickly made her way to her mother, throwing her arms around her. Johanna put her own arms around her daughter, relishing the moment. God knew they were rare these days, seeing that her daughter thought she was pretty much able to do anything on her own. "Dad told me everything."

"Then you know that I'm fine, honey."

"Why didn't you call?" Jim asked watching his wife and daughter.

"Didn't want to wake you."

Jim scoffed. "You wouldn't have woken me up."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I know that _now_." Kissing her daughter on her head, she broke their embrace and looked at her. "And what exactly are you doing still up, huh? Don't you have school in the morning? Please don't tell me you want to skip it. We've already-"

"Geeze, Mom! Relax. The first two classes were cancelled."

Jim cleared his throat after quickly emptying his cocoa, changing the topic. "How's the boy?"

"He'll be fine."

"Good to hear." Jim nodded.

"Doc says he's a fighter."

"Good thing he's just sixteen, otherwise dad must feel threatened by mom's hero." Kate stated teasingly, grinning at her father and breaking the silence that had threatened to break out.

"Oh shut up, Katie." He groaned, making Kate laugh.

As she stared at her daughter, Johanna suddenly knew what had seemed off as she had looked into the blue eyes of Rick. They were lacking something. Something important.

Vitality.

Her daughter was brimming over with it, showing it off with a sparkle in her hazel eyes. She was full of life, a bundle of energy. She could find joy in anything she encounters, could turn any of their family moments into memorial memories. Because her heart was into anything she did.

Rick's eyes were dull, his soul hardened by life's experience. He had obviously lost his joy of life, having lost anyone close to him. Didn't remember anything of his life. Everything he knew about himself, he knew only because someone told him that. He was stuck in the system, probably waiting to drop out. But what would he do then?

That night of the accident, he had lost himself.

But still, he had thrown himself into danger to help a stranger. A stranger he had no expectations of, didn't even think he'd see her again after he had closed his eyes while laying on the cold street. Hadn't considered his decision one second, ready to lose his life for good.

He _was_ a fighter. And she'd be damned if she didn't help him fight his way back into life.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it.**

 **It seems like the days will get cooler again in Germany… well, if one can call a 73°F-day a cool one….**

 **Have a nice evening, guys**


	4. Chapter 4

**And we continue with the next chapter…**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

"Where are we going?" Kate asked confused after her mother had missed their turn towards home. Johanna had taken the day off and her dad was home too, both probably still shaken up about yesterday's events. Since her mother had willingly picked her up from school instead of letting her drive home by bus, Kate guessed that they'd declare the day as a family day. "Isn't dad waiting for us?"

"Oh, he knows that we're making a little detour."

Kate nodded, waiting for her mom to explain but she wasn't adding anything more. "So, dear mother of mine, care to define the word _detour_?"

"It means, that we're stopping somewhere else before going home to your dad."

"I know what _detour_ means per se." Kate rolled her eyes. "What I _don't_ know is where exactly we are stopping by."

"We're going to the hospital."

The hospital? Why would they go there? Her mother had said that she hadn't been seriously hurt, just a scratch. The only one hurt was… "Are we visiting the boy you talked about?"

"Yeah. I want to see how he's doing." Johanna replied while keeping her eyes on the road.

"Wow," Kate blew. "It really means a lot to you."

"What do you mean?"

"His welfare."

"Of course. He's not older than you are, and he risked his life for a stranger. Besides, I hate it to know that he's alone after what happened." She reasoned.

Kate frowned. "What about his parents? Won't they be there with him?"

"They're dead. Well, his father is dead. Died in a car accident he and Rick had been in. Apparently there isn't much known about his mother, though."

"Oh." Kate acknowledged, not knowing what else to say. Now she understood why her mother wouldn't want him alone. He's probably been on his own for quite a while now and he surely will welcome any break from his loneliness.

Johanna sighed. "I'm sorry that I'm dragging you with me. I'm sure you have better things to do, but I thought that when I'm already on my way, I can visit Rick now rather than later."

"It's alright."

The rest of the drive to the hospital is spend in silence. Maybe she should have left her daughter at home for this, Johanna thought as a swell of guilt built up inside of her. It was stupid, it really was. But she hoped that Kate's presence would help to make the boy more comfortable, seeing that they were at the same age. They were alike.

And maybe… maybe her daughter's positivity and openness would pass over to Rick.

* * *

The sun felt good on his skin. Rick listened to some birds, the talking of other people only barely noticeable as he sat on his wheelchair. Dr. Walsh hadn't been a fan of his idea, but he needed it. He needed _this_.

The escape of the too quiet room and the too loud thoughts.

Sitting in his room staring at the blank wall was boring. He felt better, had felt like that since he woke this morning and if anyone would ask him, he'd tell them that he was ready to be released. Of course, none of the medical staff shared his opinion, but he had already expected that.

Though he still had felt the need to point it out the moment Dr. Walsh had entered his room, earning himself an eye-roll.

However he'd had to drive a hard bargain for his new gained freedom. He'd promised that he'd only stay an hour in the little park that belonged to the hospital. So far, Rick overrun it by thirty minutes. The middle-aged doctor would be marching out here soon, Rick thought.

It wasn't that he did it out of defiance, letting the rebel in him act up. And it also wasn't because he thought this place was beautiful. Of course it wasn't ugly either. It just wasn't anything special. A path leading through the grass, flowers on each side and a few benches. Just a place to escape the white of the hospital walls, the beeping of the medical equipment and the aura of death and sickness.

The greenish and harmonic park led someone believe that they were somewhere else rather than in a hospital.

He was still out here because he didn't want to move around. Dr. Walsh had offered to roll him out, just like his nurse Sarah did after seeing him wheeling himself down the hospital floor. Yet his stubbornness had shown his ugly head, wanting to do this on his own. Wanting to be left alone. His freedom and idyll would be over soon anyway, his social worker could be here any moment.

However as he finally reached the park, the throbbing in his left side had gotten worse. He could be an idiot sometimes, running into serious situations without thinking it through, but he knew when he reached his limit. If he wanted to be released, he'd had to choose the lecture he was sure would come over the tearing of his stitched.

When Rick heard footsteps from behind he thought that Dr. Walsh had finally found him, but he turned his head in surprise as a female voice spoke up. "Good to see you up and moving again."

"I was at risk of losing my eyesight by the sterile white of the walls." Rick quipped and he saw her smile at that. Though as he looked at her, he saw another person with her. A girl with long brown hair and hazel eyes stood a little unsure at Johanna's side. He guessed her at the same age as he was.

Johanna noticed his stare and cleared her throat. "As you already noticed, I brought someone with me. Rick, let me introduce you to my daughter Kate. She's sixteen, too."

The girl, Kate, smiled at him and he nodded at her. "Hey."

Kate was a natural beauty. Tall and a slim figure, but not fragile. She looked like she could defend herself quite alright, and she had a no-nonsense posture. Her hazel eyes radiated with intelligence, making it seem like she could out talk her parents and anyone else whom dared to disagree with her.

"You seemed surprised to see me." Johanna stated, breaking him out of his musings.

"Didn't think that I'd see you again."

"I told you I would."

True. She had said that she'd stop by again, but he hadn't believed her. He couldn't. He remembered almost nothing of his life before the car accident, and since that moment, the people in his life came and went. There wasn't anyone he'd label as a constant in his life.

And he certainly knew better than to make this unknown woman a constant. He had tried to help her and she felt guilty for what happened, maybe even thought she'd owe him something. That was all there was. She'll be out of his life soon, the thought of him only a distant memory.

"My mom always keeps her promises." Kate exclaimed.

"You know, why don't you two search for a bench and I'll go get us something to drink?" Johanna offered and turned around walking back towards the hospital. She'd seen a beverage dispenser in the entrance hall.

Johanna was just contemplating of what to get them, as she heard a voice close by. "Hi, I'm Scott Whittaker from CPS. I'm searching for Richard Castle. He'd been admitted due an injury by a knife."

There was a short moment of silence before a gentle voice spoke up. "The boy apparently is outside at the park. Do you want me to take you to him?"

"No need to. I'll find him myself. Thank you."

Ignoring her original task of finding them something to drink, Johanna followed the man through the hall towards the doors that would lead them out in the open. Picking up her pace, she closed up to him and blocked his path. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you saying you're from CPS."

"Yes." He responded warily. Her prompt appearance caught him off guard.

"I'm Johanna Beckett. I'm just here with my daughter visiting Rick Castle."

"You're here because of Rick?" He asked surprised, his eyebrows raising slightly.

"Yeah. He got hurt for trying to rescue me from two mugger."

"I already heard that he'd been involved in an attempted robbery. The police already asked me to bring him in for his statement after he's released from the hospital."

Johanna bit onto her lower lip. "What will happen to him after he's being released?"

"Well, he'll go back to the orphanage."

Like she had expected. "Isn't there any other place he could go to?"

Mr. Whittaker sighed. "He's sixteen. No one would take in a boy of his age, much less adopt him. He's too old, and people mostly want babies, kid's whom aren't older than five or six at the most. I'm afraid that Rick probably has to sit his time out until he drops out of the system."

 _Sit his time out._ Johanna knew that this was exactly what he was going to do, wasting time he could use to re-build his life. But how was he supposed to do that if his life could change any day again?

* * *

 **Next chapter will start with Kate and Rick :D**

 **Wish you all a great evening!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi :D**

 **Here's chapter five of Starting Anew. Hope you'll like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

"So, you saved my mom." Kate stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"It was more like a distraction so that your mom could fight back and knock 'em out. _She_ saved _me_."

"Why did you do it?" Kate blurted out.

Rick shrugged. "Why not do it?"

"My mom said they had knives."

"I may be reckless, but I'm not blind."

Kate observed him, searching for anything that'd answer her previous question. But he wasn't giving away anything, the thick wall inside of him he had built some time ago blocked out any emotion he didn't wanna show anyone. "Why'd you do it?"

He exhaled annoyed by her questions. He _did_ know why he had done it, why he had helped Kate's mother. Or had tried to help. But he didn't know how to explain without being stamped as the poor boy.

Because that was who he was. The poor boy. He had titled himself like that during his previous hospital stay, having had too much time to think about what happened. He avoided it, having time to think. He didn't like it when he had time to think, needed something to do to keep him occupied. If he'd start to think about what happened, really going deep inside himself, he'd go crazy. Crazy because of this huge hole of nothingness. All he knew about himself – and let's be honest, it wasn't much – were things some stranger told him about himself. That was whom they were. Strangers. All of them.

Even he was a stranger to himself.

So he tried to find out who he was since he had been released from the hospital. Rick had spent his free time searching for things he liked to do and things he hated to do, had tried out various meals and food, testing if he liked it or not. Or maybe even finding out if he was allergic to anything.

Had he been one of those kind of teens to go out a lot, or did he rather stay in? Had he been good at school? Did he have a lot of friends?

Now, he was a loner. Not fitting into any group. And he guessed that this fact wouldn't change until he found out who he was. Accepting what happened.

But at least he found out that he sucked as a savior. "I just had been there when it happened."

Kate kept her eyes on him for a moment, though she sensed that she wouldn't get a better answer – not yet anyway. "Thank you."

She must've caught him off guard, because she swore she saw some emotions flicker through over his eyes though they were gone as fast as they had come, his mask quickly put into place again. "No need to thank me. Like I said, I was more like a distraction than anything else."

"Then thanks for being there."

"You're welcome." Rick replied and grew a little uncomfortable as Kate kept her eyes on him. There was something that made him feel like that, something odd in her hazel orbs. It was as if she tried to see right through him, directly into his soul. He was proud of his mask and wall he had built to keep people out, protect himself from any potential harm. But this girl, Kate Beckett, could be a threat to them. He was afraid that she could be able to find a way to look through his mask and take down his wall if he'd be with her for some more time.

Maybe he should avoid her in the future, though it wasn't very likely that he'll see her again. As soon as he'll be out of the hospital, Johanna wouldn't stop by anymore and so won't her daughter. Everything would be back to normal, or as normal as things could be for him.

Two years. He'd have to endure two more years until he could leave the orphanage. But where'd he go? He had nothing. No one. Suddenly it wasn't just his past that was vailed in darkness, but also his future.

He was practically stuck. Stuck between past and future, lost in the no-man's-land.

And Rick had no idea how to leave it again.

He couldn't go back. His past was lost to him, probably forever. But he couldn't go forward either. He had nothing but the orphanage. He was a blank page.

"Rick."

Looking up – and thankfully Kate's eyes left him finally – Rick saw his social worker walking up to them, followed by Kate's mother. Scott Whittaker was a nice man. Middle-aged, blond hair and brown eyes which were framed by glasses, rugged features and a tall figure. Some of the teens always keep asking if he was in a relationship, but Scott Whittaker was a master of masks, not answering any of the question he didn't want to answer.

Rick had taken Mr. Whittaker's masks as an example for his own.

But the man knew that, must have realized it some time ago and since then, Mr. Whittaker had tried to be more open. Not with the others, but with Rick. He had told him things about himself, trusted Rick to keep silent. And all too late, Rick noticed that Mr. Whittaker had scratched a little hole inside his wall. It wasn't a big hole, but enough to let him see the boy behind the wall from time to time.

"Hello, Mr. Whittaker. Am I being released?"

"No," The man chuckled. He knew the boy hated hospitals, but who could fault him for that after knowing what he'd been through. "You have to stay two more days here. I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"The range and the quality of the food didn't improve since the last time. And the spare time activities leave a lot to be desired." Rick replied drily.

The social worker smiled. "You'll have to live with it for two more days."

"What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger, right?" Rick joked.

"Right."

"But I've got to talk to you about some things. For one, you'll be moved to another accommodation. I'm afraid they needed your bed. And also some things regarding your classes at school." Mr. Whittaker stated.

"I think that's our cue, Kate. Let's go home and let Rick and Mr. Whittaker tend to their affairs."

"Sure," Kate said and flickered her eyes back to Rick. "It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise."

"Mr. Whittaker." Johanna nodded before she and Kate left them and heeded back to the car. Kate looked one more time over her shoulder to Rick, whom was talking – or rather listening – to his social worker while he just nodded now and then. Kate shook her head and followed her mother through the doors and back into the hospital.

"What will happen to him when he's being released?" Kate asked quite some time later in the car.

"He'll go back to the orphanage."

Kate scoffed. "Life sucks."

"Katie." Johanna scolded her daughter, though she knew her daughter was right. She just didn't voice it out. "Did you two talk about anything interesting?"

"He's not really talkative."

"Yeah," Johanna sighed. "I noticed."

"But it's not like someone cares anyway." Kate murmured, and Johanna chose not to comment it, keeping her eyes on the road.

 _Yeah, who cared?_

* * *

It was late when Johanna and Jim went to bed, Kate was already fast asleep in her room. The day's events seemed to have worn her out. After they had come back, the two women dragged Jim with them resulting a family day at the mall. Even if Jim mostly just carried the shopping bags of his two girls, he had a lot of fun today.

"I met Rick's social worker today." Johanna stated as she put some lotion on her legs. Jim glanced up from the paper he was reading while he waited for his wife to join him in their bed.

"While you and Katie visited him?"

"Yeah. He'll be placed back into the orphanage." Johanna sighed.

"At least he has a bed, some food and clothes. It could be worse."

"Really?" She asked sarcastically.

Jim raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm just trying to cheer you up a little. Besides, you have to admit that I'm right."

"I'm not admitting anything, Mr.-I-know-everything." She replied and smiled at her husband.

"You're stubborn."

"You love me anyway."

"That's true." He relented.

Johanna walked over to her side of the bed. "Besides, I need to be stubborn. Or else I'd pursue the wrong profession."

"The accommodations of the orphanage are jammed." Johanna stated while she turned off the light and laid down on her side, returning to their more serious conversation. "And there are too few social workers."

"We can't change that, Jo."

"But we could change it for Rick." She murmured deep in thoughts as she looked at nothing at all in the dark room. She could feel Jim shift on his side, and while she had her back to him she knew exactly that he had turned towards her, probably trying to find out what she was talking about.

He must have guessed what she was talking about, because his tone was more serious and alarmed when he spoke up. "Johanna, you're not really saying-"

"I'd like to take him in."

* * *

 **Well, we'll see what Jim's got to say about that in the next chapter. But let's say that he's not as thrilled as Johanna…**

 **It's interesting to see Rick with the mask and wall, while Kate's the open one.**

 **Hope you liked the chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys,**

 **Let's move on to the next chapter :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

"Are you _serious_?!"

Holding her arms crossed over her chest, Johanna sat on the bed for ten minutes now watching her husband pacing around in a circuit, venting and reciting all reasons of why this was a bad idea – a very bad idea.

"Yes, Jim. I am serious."

"Johanna, we aren't talking about a dog or a cat, or any other animal at all! We're talking about a boy – a human being."

"Well, I'd be worried if he wasn't human." Johanna replied sarcastically.

"God!" Jim exhaled. "I feel like you're not listening to me."

Now Johanna raised from her place, walking up to her husband standing nose to nose. "I am listening, Jim. I heard all of your cons."

"Obviously not, because we're still talking about this."

"Jim, we're perfect for this. We've enough money and space. As lawyers we have both a stable income and we have years of experience of raising a child."

"Yes, our sixteen year old daughter. Did you even think about her in all of this?"

"Of course I did-" Johanna started, but got quickly interrupted.

"And you still want to take in a stranger? Let him move in with us? With our daughter?"

Johanna scoffed. "You make it sound like he's a criminal, Jim. He's just a boy. A teenager whom lost everything."

"You don't know anything about him. _I_ don't know anything about him. Maybe he _is_ a criminal. Just because he conveniently doesn't remember a think doesn't mean he's a saint."

"Jim, he's all alone. I want to help him and this is the best way I can. He could go to Katie's school, find new friends. He could start re-building his life. I'm afraid that he's spiraling, and he won't stop if he's continuing like this."

Jim sighed. "Why do you always want to save the world?"

"It's not the world I want to save. It's a soul. A soul of a young boy. Is that so wrong?"

Jim was about to reply something when a knock on the door cut him off before he even had the chance to say one word. "Yes?"

The door opened slightly and the head of their daughter squeezed through the gap, glancing at them. They both had kept their voice low so that they wouldn't wake up their daughter, though it seemed like it didn't work. The sleepy girl walked towards her mother whom had taken a seat on the bed as Kate had knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry if we woke you up, Katie." Jim apologized.

"It's okay, Dad. But mom is right. We have everything we need to help Rick. Maybe he could give it a try."

"Not you, too!" Jim groaned.

"You and mom earn more than enough money. We could clear out the room opposite mine. There's only useless stuff in there anyway."

"And what if it doesn't work? What then? He moves in here, changes school and finds some friends. Then something happens and we realize that it doesn't work, he'd have to move out again, change schools again, lose his new found friends. This would disrupt his life more than it already is."

Johanna cleared her throat, picking up the other side of the coin. "And what if it does work? What if he integrates himself perfectly, has good grades and forms friendships? We'd have changed his life for the better."

Jim looked at the two women who stared up at him, two sets of hazel orbs. He'd never won an argument when they had joined forces against him, and it looked like he'd lose this one too. Of course everything could turn out fine. But there were also risks.

But mostly Jim was frightened. He didn't know anything about the boy, didn't trust him. His first priority was to protect his family, and he was afraid that this could harm his family. A wolf in sheep's clothing, and if something should happen, it'd be too late then.

"I'm not going to win this, am I?"

He sighed when the two just continued to stare at him. He shook his head and drew his hand through his hair, leaning back against the wall.

Life will become quite interesting.

* * *

"They want to do what?!"

Mr. Whittaker took a deep breath. "Mr. and Mrs. Beckett would like to take you in."

"No."

" _No?_ "

"No." Rick repeated.

"And why not?"

Rick looked back out of the window. He'd been happily counting down the remaining hours until his release, couldn't wait to get out here. This anticipation and giddiness switched into confusion and tension. But mostly confusion. Confusion as to why the Beckett's would want to take him in. Him, a sixteen year old teenager who had a lot of baggage. Though maybe he knew the why.

Johanna Beckett.

He didn't need to be a psychic to know that this was her idea. For reasons unknown to him this woman just couldn't let him go. Did she not notice that he wanted to be let alone? Lick his wounds by himself?

Then there was Kate. He had been relieved with the thought that he'd never see her again, that she wouldn't get another chance to try out her x-ray vision. But if he'd live with the Beckett's, he'd have to be on alert at all times, always having his masks in full display and his walls even higher as normal.

Back at the orphanage he'd had his peace. No one wanted something of him. But if he'd live with Johanna, they'd expect him to integrate into the normal family life. And they'd surely want to know things. Things he couldn't tell them because he didn't know them himself, and if he could there was the possibility that he didn't _want_ to tell them.

Besides, all he knew was the life at the orphanage. He'd never lived with a family.

At least not that he could remember.

"The process would take months. It wouldn't be worth it. I've just got two more years left."

"Well, they're both lawyers, have a lot of influence. And I could speed things up a little." Mr. Whittaker countered and sighed once again when Rick stayed silent, looking anywhere but at him. "Rick, they'd probably excel in all of the requirements for foster parenting. They have a stable income, a great home, no criminal records, and they even have experience at parenting."

"And what's missing?" Rick asked sarcastically, yet serious. There was no way that they could be that perfect. But maybe it would be just his luck that the one family that would want him was without any flaws, making him look more insane for declining.

"Besides your courage?"

"I'm not afraid." Rick scoffed.

"Oh, I think you are. You're afraid to find a new home, to start a new life. Maybe you're even afraid of the feeling of belonging." Mr. Whittaker began and waited until Rick's eyes found his ones, knowing he was talking to the Rick behind the walls now. "Rick, you're allowed to feel like that. But this is your chance at something good. So take it. This is your turn into a new beginning, a fresh start."

Rick took a deep breath and looked out of the window again, thinking everything over.

"The Beckett's are waiting outside."

Whipping his head back to his social worker, Rick widened his eyes in surprise. "They're here?"

"Yeah. They'd like to talk about this with you personally."

Great, Rick thought. No pressure at all.

"Shall I go let them in?" Mr. Whittaker asked and smiled as he saw Rick's face. "Come on, take a deep breath and get to it."

Rick didn't have much time to reply anything since the man already opened the door and let his surprise visit in. The first one to enter was Johanna, smiling slightly at Rick, a touch of nervousness was visible in her eyes. The next one was a man he'd never seen before, but he guessed that this must be Mr. Beckett. Their daughter Kate was nowhere in sight.

"Hi, Rick."

"Hey."

"This is my husband Jim." Johanna introduced the man at her side, and said man nodded at Rick. "Kate gives you her regards. She couldn't come with us because she and her friend are working on a school project."

"I believe Mr. Whittaker already told you what our visit is about?" asked Jim Beckett, cutting straight to the main reason for their stop at his hospital room.

"You want to take me in."

"Yes, Rick. We'd like you to come and live with us." Johanna confirmed.

"Why? I'm sixteen. Why would you go through so much trouble for a child that only has two more years in the system?"

"You'd have more space to yourself, your own room. We'd enroll you in the same school as Kate. It's a very good one, one of the best."

"I get that, but I'm not interested in any of those things." Rick replied stubbornly and saw Johanna take a step back in surprise at the hard voice of the teen. "And the least of all I need is you taking me in out of pity."

"We're not taking you in because we pity you, young man." Jim started, but Johanna put a hand on his shoulder to quieten him, wanting to lead this discussion herself. "Yes, you've been through a lot and I feel sorry for everything you've been through. But that's not the reason we're doing this."

"Then what is the reason?"

"It's a simple one, and I'm almost disappointed that you haven't consider it yet." That got her a confused expression, obviously having caught him off-guard. "You helped me, Rick. Now I want to help you."

"I did not ask for your help."

"Most of the people don't ask for help, though that doesn't mean they're not happy when they get some. My wife and I may not be able to change what happened, but we can help you find your place in the world." Jim reasoned.

Johanna's eyes bore directly into Rick's, searching for anything that would show her how the boy would decide. "Please, let us help you."

Rick considered all pros and cons. He knew life at the orphanage, knew what he'd have to do to be left in peace, knew where he'd find anything he could need and he definitely knew that he wouldn't have any problems living there for another two years.

But at the same time the Beckett's were right, he'd have much more freedom and more space. And for him there was no difference with living with dozens of children or if he'd live with the Beckett's. There were all strangers to him, though if he'd put some effort into getting to know them, to work on his social life, a life with the family standing in front of him was safer. They wouldn't just disappear, at least not just like that. If he'd befriend the children at the orphanage, it would be more risky regarding at losing their friendships. They could move to other accommodations, drop out of the system or be – just like him – taken into a new home.

He glanced over to his social worker Scott, whom sat in the corner and was happy to just observe their conversation. He smiled as he saw Rick looking at him. Rick knew exactly what his opinion was on this matter and he'd have to admit that Scott was right. He was afraid.

Richard Castle was afraid of this change. And living with the Beckett's instead of the orphanage was a huge one. He only knew life at the orphanage and he guessed that living with a family was complete different.

But then again, Scott was also right with this being his chance at a new start. Maybe this could enlighten his future a little, helping him orientate himself and showing him a direction. Yet this scared him too. But he was a fighter. People have said so in the past.

Normally he shouldn't have survived the car accident. Apparently it was pretty nasty. But he _did_ survive.

The doctors almost lost hope of him waking up and recovering from his injuries and the coma, but he _did_ wake up and recovered.

He beat the odds. And now he'd do it again.

Looking up with a new found resolve, he stared directly at Johanna and Jim Beckett. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Scott's smile brighten his face, already having noticed that Rick came to a decision. "Alright. I'd be happy to come and live with you."

* * *

 **Hope you liked it.**

 **Please leave a review on your way out :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi,**

 **Sorry for the little delay. Normally I update every Monday and Wednesday evening, but chapter 10 gave me some troubles, so that my schedule got mixed up. So until I'm running behind, there'll be only one update per week. But I'll try to catch up as quickly as possible.**

 **Before you start reading, let me tell you that I have no idea about the process of foster parenting. So this is all solely in my imagination, and I'm sorry for any errors of the process.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed this story. You're the best!**

 **That's all from me today :D**

 **Enjoy the chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Three weeks later, Rick found himself next to his social worker standing in front of the front door of the Beckett's. When Scott had said he'd speed up things and that it wouldn't take as long as it would normally since the Beckett were the perfect candidates for foster parents, Rick would have never guessed that it would be _this_ fast. Suddenly he wasn't that sure of his decision anymore.

As some of the other kids heard that there was a family that would take him in, they congratulated him for his luck, a few of them wishing that they could trade places with him. It made him kind of feel like he was some stray dog whom finally found a family that'd take him in. Rick didn't even dare to tell them that he had met Johanna through helping her out in a street mugging, afraid that some of them would go out and bolting into dangerous situations.

"You ready? Your new life awaits you." Scott smiled, and Rick tried to reply with one of his own smiles, but it looked more like a nervous grimace than anything else. Scott chuckled. "It's alright to be scared. It _is_ a huge change after all. But I'm positive you'll master this."

"Then you trust me more than I do myself."

Scott laughed out loud at that. He'd been ecstatic for his protégé since the moment Rick accepted the offer of the Beckett's to take him in. "Well, let's get it over with, shall we?"

The man didn't let Rick any other choice and knocked on the front door, waiting for it to open up. Rick had to admit that the home looked impressive. It wasn't anything too expensive, a normal family home in one of the nicer and quieter parts of Manhattan, yet it clearly showed that the owner of this house had some money.

The grown-up lowered his head a little and whispered a quick encouragement into Rick's ear. "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

Rick nodded, but was still unsure. His nervousness rose as the door opened and he looked directly at Johanna who beamed at him, obviously happy that he was finally there. Behind her he saw Kate standing there, also a smile on her face. The man of the house himself was just turning around the corner and came to a stop beside Kate.

Now, the whole Beckett-family was standing in front of him.

"Rick, Mr. Whittaker! It's great to see you again. Please, come in." Johanna said and opened the door wider to let the two in.

"Oh, I won't stay. We've already settled anything there needs to be settled. I just brought over your new family addition." Mr. Whittaker smiled and looked at Rick again. "You'll be fine?"

He and Rick had talked about everything on their way to the Beckett's, and Rick knew it wouldn't be the last time he'd see Scott. He was, after all, still his social worker and thus obliged to check in from time to time.

"I'm fine."

"That's my cue. Mrs. Beckett, Mr. Beckett, I already gave you my phone number. You can call me anytime if there's something you need me to. Rick has the number too, and I've already told him to not hesitate to call me. He may be living with you, but he's still my responsibility."

"I don't think that there'll be a situation which requires such a call, but it's good to know that there's a way to reach you if something _should_ occur." Jim replied.

"I don't think so too, but we never know, right?" Scott smiled and turned to Rick again. "Well, I'll see you at my next visit then. Keep your head on a swivel."

"You, too." Rick said and shook Scott's hand, watching him walk down the three stone steps that led to the house.

"Come in, Rick." Johanna smiled and closed the door as soon as Rick was inside.

Jim saw the bag which hung onto his right shoulder. "That's all of your things?"

"Yes, I don't have much."

"Well, I think a tour through the house is in order." Johanna said, and Kate jumped at the prospect of showing him around.

"Let me show you around." Kate said and grabbed Rick's hand, leading him a little down the hall and into a room to their left. He had to bid back a smile at her giddiness, letting her pull him with her and listening to her explanation and little anecdotes. Jim and Johanna stayed back and watched the two trotting away, smiling at her daughter's excitement.

The room to the left was the kitchen of the house. It looked pretty neat, yet one saw that it was used regularly. It was the typical kitchen, all the usual kitchen devises were there, in the middle was a little kitchen island. He could easily imagine how the Beckett's were meeting up in here in the mornings, enjoying breakfast. There was a sliding door to the dining room.

The next room Kate dragged him to was located at the end of the hall, the living room. It was huge, yet warm and very inviting. Again, there was nothing out of the usual. Two little couches formed a corner and one armchair completed the trio which formed an U. In the middle was a glass table, and the couches were facing a wall with one big shelf, containing a TV in the middle of it. Rick imagined the Beckett's sitting there, watching a game or a movie. A homey garden was behind the house, a door to it let through the living room.

The walls were painted in a faint beige, though it seemed that they played with the paint. At the bottom was a darker shade of the beige, whereas a lighter one graced the upper part of the wall. The border ran diagonal over the whole wall and began at the point with the least of light.

As he glanced down at the darker corner of the wall Rick saw three sets of hand prints, neatly side by side. Two bigger ones and one smaller print, all in a special beige than the wall was painted in.

It was something else, Rick thought. It gave the living room a personal touch.

"Shall we go upstairs?" Kate asked. There were two more rooms on this level, but Kate said that the bigger one was the office of Jim and Johanna, and the other one was just a supply closet.

"Sure." Rick nodded and followed her towards the wooden stairwell, however he had to stop as Kate came to a halt, almost running into her. Glancing up, Rick saw her looking behind him and as he followed her stare he saw Jim Beckett standing behind him, obviously wanting to join them on their tour through the house.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Dad, didn't you want to watch a game?"

"It's not one of the games I need to see."

"Dad!" Kate exclaimed a little louder than before.

During their expedition through the first level of the house, Rick's nervousness and insecurity had vanished. He had been completely taken by Kate and her stories she had told him throughout their tour. He didn't even notice how it faded to the back of his head. Instead his curiosity had taken over. He was curious of their home, of his _new_ home.

But now, seeing Jim Beckett that close behind him, the feelings came back and it seemed obvious that the driving force of the decision to take him in had been Johanna and Kate. They had overruled Jim, and while he must have caved in, he was obviously still not quite comfortable with this situation.

Not a second later after Kate's exclamation, Johanna appeared at the bottom of the steps. She smiled at her daughter and Rick, before her glance turned into a glare as she flickered her eyes towards her husband. "Jim, could you help me in the kitchen with some things, please?" She asked sweetly, but her eyes showed Jim that he didn't really have any other choice.

"Well, I-"

"Now." Johanna emphasized, not letting any room for discussion. With his shoulders sunk, Jim moved down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

"Thanks." Kate said.

"Well, you know your dad. After your second _dad_ , I thought I should interfere." Johanna explained amused and moved to follow her husband.

Kate's hazel orbs hushed to his blue ones. "Sorry for that."

Rick shrugged, his mask in place. "He's your dad. He's allowed to be over-protective. You should be happy that he loves you and is there for you."

It was visible that she wanted to reply something to his comment, but obviously thought better of it. "Let's continue."

The first room after walking up the stairs was the bedroom of Kate's parents. Apparently Jim and Johanna loved this room. Not for its size, the adjoining little private bathroom or anything else for that matter. No, they loved it because it would make it harder for their daughter to sneak out unnoticed. Kate had told him that there was a fifty-fifty-percentage that they caught her.

Opposite of their bedroom was the bathroom. It was huge, bigger than the one at the orphanage. But then again, it wasn't that hard to surpass the quality of the bathroom in the orphanage. There was a shower and a separate bathtub in the bathroom, next to the usual facility like a toilet and sink.

At the end of the hall were two doors, and he guessed that one of it was Kate's and the other one was probably his own room. Rick had often imagined how it would be like to live with the Beckett's, imagined how their home looked like. But honestly, he'd never thought of the possibility that the door to his room would be directly opposite Kate's.

Or he rather had hoped to have a little more space between them. Those two wooden doors seemed like nothing against Kate's curious glance, her eyes full of questions. Questions she was searching for deep inside of him.

Kate opened the door on the right side first, the one right next to her parents. It was a normal room of a teenager. A bed, a huge wardrobe, some shelves with lots of books and movies and other stuff. There was a small couch and a TV opposite it, but not a big one. Some poster graced the walls which were painted in a soft purple.

As Kate looked at him, she noticed that the corners of his lips were slightly moved upwards and his eyes shone in amusement. "What?"

"Nothing," Rick shook his head. "I'm just surprised of the lack of pink in this room."

She scrunched her nose. "Don't even go there! The idea to paint my walls in pink would equal a death penalty."

Now Rick laughed out loud. Good to know that Kate wasn't one of the overly girly ones he had met during a few of his tours through the city.

"Look at that. He can laugh after all." Kate commented and smiled satisfied at him.

That comment however let him sober up again. He _could_ laugh, thank you very much. He just didn't laugh that often, and normally not in front of strangers. Besides, until now there hadn't been many moments that were worthy of his laugh.

Kate saw that he had reclaimed his place behind his mas again and cleared her throat, the play-time over before it had even started. "So, shall we look at the last room?"

She moved out of her room and opened the door leading to the room opposite of hers. Her hands were clasped over her front as she waited patiently for him to enter. "Last but not least, your room." She smiled and shrugged.

It was obvious that they had rushed everything so that he'd have a room when he'd arrive. The walls were in a soft blue, there was a bed, a few shelves and a wardrobe. That was it.

"I know it's not much yet. This whole thing was rather rushed and all." Kate started to apologize at the sparsely furnished room, but Rick stopped her by the wave of his hand.

"Don't worry. It's already more than I had back at the orphanage."

"Really?" She asked surprised, letting her eyes wander over the room one more time.

"Yeah, because I don't have to share these things with other kids. That's my space." Rick replied, but he said the last part more to himself than to her. This was _his_ room. His own room. Of course he knew that he probably had his own room before the accident, but he didn't remember it. For him, it didn't count what he had before. As far as he knew, he and his dad lived in a little apartment in Brooklyn.

"How many of you were in one room?"

"Too many." He sighed.

"Why don't you unpack your things? I'll be in my room if you need something. Dinner will probably be ready an hour." Kate said and started to leave him alone in his own room.

"Kate," he called and waited for her to face him one more time. "Thanks for the tour."

She smiled and entered her room, closing the door softly after herself. Rick let his eyes wander over the room again before he took a deep breath and put down his bag to unbag.

This was it. His first day in new home.

* * *

 **Coming up next: a little Castle/Jim talk, Castle's meeting Kate's best friend and something happens that triggers his memories…. and not the good kind.**

 **Hope you liked this chapter. And don't forget to leave a review on your way out :D**

 **Until next week, guys**

 **Take care.**

 **P.S. Gosh, I can't believe we made it through the (too long) hiatus! New Castle coming up on Monday, yeah!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys,**

 **Enjoy the update :)**

 **To the guest reviewer from chapter 7: No, I don't plan on having the Beckett's adopt Rick. Maybe there will be a (short) talk in a later chapter, but I _do_ plan on having Martha be a regular character in this three-parter.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

Rick spent some time in his room, putting away his thing though it wasn't much. Since he didn't have anything to do in his room, he made his way down the stairs. Like always he avoided any situation that would leave him with too much time to think. He was running, he knew. But he wasn't ready to deal with his past.

Jim Beckett sat in the living room reading a paper, and he heard some noise coming from the kitchen, indicating that Johanna worked on their dinner.

Taking a deep breath, Rick straightened his shoulders and walked into the living room towards the older man. After Rick made three steps into the room, Jim looked up, though waited curiously for the boy to speak up.

"Can I ask you something, Mr. Beckett?"

Jim lowered the paper in his hand and shrugged. "You can drop the _Mister_."

"Are you alright with me being here?" Rick asked.

This question seemed to catch the man in front of him off-guard. Rick had made the step and said yes to their offer to take them in, but he didn't want to cross any lines with his move. And right now, Rick had the feeling that Jim wasn't quite as alright with his presence as the two females in this house.

"What makes you ask that?"

"Well, I think it's quite obvious that the two women in your life outvoted you regarding my stay in your home. It's nothing to worry about, since it's rather common that if the males in a household is outnumbered by females, the women have the balls in the family. So that's why I'm asking you now – man to man – if you are really alright with this decision."

Jim stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. He didn't spend as much time with the boy as his wife did, but this was definitely the most he had ever heard the boy speak. Since Jim was a little flabbergasted with Rick's openness, Rick continued. "I'd have no problem to go back to the orphanage, it's only two more years. The thing I _do_ have a problem with is, living in a house I'm not really welcome."

"You're right, I've been overruled by my wife and daughter," Jim began after thinking a few seconds of what to say. "However you definitely wouldn't be here if I was against your stay. It's quite often that I get the short end of a deal, but if I wouldn't have wanted to take you in, I'd have put my foot down on this one. Still, you can't fault me for trying to protect my family."

"No, I can't."

"I'll try to improve, okay?" Jim asked and smiled, which Rick responded with a nod and a smile of his own.

Having everything settled with Jim, Rick made his way towards the kitchen asking Johanna if she needed some help. He had nothing better to do, and while he knew nothing about himself from before the accident, Rick wasn't one to just sit down watching the seconds tick by.

Johanna was happy about the extra help and chatted away. Their conversation was about nothing important, normal topics. Mostly Johanna asked him a question and he answered, though he was surprised that it wasn't all that hard to talk to her. That fact made him slow down again, his answers got shorter and he crawled back behind his wall again.

He couldn't get attached. He knew first-hand that attachment weakened somebody, because anything could be gone in a minute. The only good thing his amnesia had done to him was to protect him from experience the loss of his father.

The two finished dinner in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. They just worked wordlessly side by side, only speaking when Johanna explained something or Rick asked where he could find something. After they set the table, Jim and Kate arrived out of the blue and sat down, being drawn to the dining room by the smell of dinner like moths were dawn to the light.

Both Jim and Johanna sat at the head of the table, while Kate and Rick sat opposite of each other on the longer side of it. He guessed that this was going to be their seating order for quite some time.

"We enrolled you at the same school as Kate, Rick. You have your first day at school on Monday. I know the school year already started, but we're sure you won't have to work off too much yet. And Kate surely would help you." Johanna exclaimed and Kate nodded confirming.

Monday. Two more days to prepare himself for dozens of new faces and the usual school terror. Well he knew that they planned for him to go to the same school as Kate, and while he hadn't thought about school that much yet, it had to be expected that they'd send him to school as soon as possible. If he'd start now, he'd really not miss that much of the year.

"Maybe Katie could show you around this weekend."

"Sure." Kate nodded. "I have to bring over something for a friend of mine tomorrow anyway. We could combine it, if you don't mind, Rick."

"I have no problems with it."

"Okay, then it's settled."

* * *

"What things do you like to do?" Kate asked as they walked down the second block from their home.

"Well, I like reading." While he had been at the orphanage he read every book they had, devouring all words. He liked to disappear into another world, forget about reality and just be. Yeah, he definitely loved reading, and his fantasy always spun _what if_ scenarios afterwards.

"Okay. After we're dropping something of at my friends, Madison, I'll show you a bookstore not that far away. It's not huge, but it's big enough and yet still cozy. I like going there myself."

The prospect of a new selection of books made him look forward to their little expedition.

It didn't take them long until they reached the house Madison lived in. Just like Kate, Madison lived in a townhouse three blocks from Kate. Rick followed Kate with a little more distance, not wanting to intrude the two friends while he waited for Kate to give her friend something she needed for school.

A few seconds after Kate knocked on the front door, the door opened and a woman in her forties smiled at Kate. "Kate! Madison already told us you'd stop by. Do you want to come in?"

"Hello, Mrs. Queller. I don't have time to come in, but I'd like to give this to Maddie. She said she'd need it for school." Kate lifted up a big textbook.

"Of course. Let me get my daughter." The woman said and returned inside again. Kate turned around and smiled reassuringly at Rick. Whether to tell him that it wouldn't take much longer or just to verify that he was still there, he didn't know.

"Kate!" A girl with blond hair stepped outside the house, a wide grin on her lips.

"Hey, Maddie. I've got your book."

"Thanks. Wow," Maddie exclaimed as she glanced behind Kate and saw Rick standing on the sidewalk waiting for Kate. "Who's that?"

"That's Rick. I've told you about him." Maddie raised her hand and waved at him, which he reciprocated with a wave of his own hand, albeit feeling uncomfortable. Even with the distance he had put himself between the two girls, he heard every word they were saying.

"Holy! You didn't tell me he was this good-looking." She told Kate in a flirty voice, and Rick tried to ignore her eyes which roamed over his body by turning his head to the right side, putting his mask on full display while watching the cars cross the intersection nearby. "A real Adonis."

"Yeah, well this Adonis is off limits for you." Kate replied and Rick bit down a smile at her cockiness. "I don't want you to play your games with him."

"Kill joy."

Kate was saying something, but Rick ignored the conversation of the two as he heard a loud bang. The noise startled him, his heart started to hammer against his rips and he suddenly felt hot. He had seen it. Had seen and heard it happen.

Two cars collided at the intersection, fortunately it looked like it was nothing bad only material damage. But there was something, something he couldn't catch yet. The reality faded out, all he could hear was a hellish scream – if it was him screaming or someone else he couldn't say – darkness and the ear-piercing sound of metal colliding on metal.

"Is he alright?" Madison asked, nodding towards Rick who still looked pale and in trace away from them.

"Rick?" Kate called out, but he didn't react. Following his glance, Kate saw the two cars that had run into each other and cursed, already guessing what was going on – or at least imagined that he saw the accident happen. "He'll be. I should take him home. I'll see you on Monday."

Without waiting for Madison to reply, Kate walked down to Rick as softly as she could, so to not startle him any more than he already was. She called out to him one more time, though he just continued to stay there paralyzed.

Kate put her hand on his shoulder, and this was enough to get him out of his trance snapping his head towards her. But the look of his eyes scared her. They were shallow and dull, and he looked rather exhausted. "Come on, Rick. Let's go home."

She grabbed his hand and holding it tight with her own while she pulled him with her back home, hoping that their contact would keep him from disappearing to wherever he had been a few minutes ago. She didn't know what else to do than getting him home. He might not remember anything from the accident or his life before it happened, but she knew that seeing the accident today must've triggered something – or at least poked into something that should be left alone.

The trip home was spent in silence and Kate wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Yet on the other hand she didn't know what to talk about. He must know that she knew that he had been thrown off by the car accident near Madison's house. Still, he held her hand as tight as she did his one, following her without an argument.

Once they arrived home, Rick suddenly sprung into motion and went directly upstairs into his room, closing the door behind him. He needed silence. It was too much noise, the scratching of metal against metal. The noise was following him and he didn't know how to abate it.

Johanna just walked out of the living room and saw Rick's retreading figure, glancing confused at her daughter whom sighed. "Did something happen?"

"There was a car accident near Maddie's, and Rick saw it happening." Kate explained.

"Oh, no. That wasn't helping."

Kate stared at her mother. "Should I go up and talk to him?"

"No," Johanna shook her head. "Let's give him some time to sort out what's going on in his head. I can imagine that there's a lot going on now. If we'd talk to him now – trying to help him with whatever it is that's bothering him – I think his frustration and confusion would grow. And that'd be natural, especially if he's trying to remember and always ends at a dead end."

* * *

Tossing restlessly around in bed, Rick murmured in his sleep. A deep frown was on his face, slightly sweating as he turned around in bed. His muscles tensed up, his fists clenching now and then.

There it was again. The noise of metal against metal. Though this time it was accompanied by more noise, voices, smell and the feel of being whipped around like a doll. Rick was caught in a nightmare, practically the slave of his own past.

" _Dad, watch out!"_

Bang!

Rick's eyes opened wide as he sat up in his bed, breathing hard in and out. Looking around in confusion he slowly remembered where he was, coming back to reality. A flash was lightening up his room for a second, followed by the loud noise of the thunder.

Just a bad dream.

Though it wasn't a dream. It was reality.

It was his past.

Rick shook his head, a headache had taken residence in his head and hammered around in his skull. He felt nauseous, could almost taste the bile coming up. Throwing the covers aside, Rick got up and made his way to the bathroom as fast as he could.

After he was sure that nothing else would come up anytime soon he tiptoed back to his room, hoping he didn't wake anyone.

All this time he had tried to remember his past, and in the end it had just taken one little accident to make him remember something. A piece of his past – the worst one.

Sitting down onto his bed, Rick didn't feel like going back to sleep. He was too agitated. There was no chance he could fall back asleep. He'd have to calm down his racing heart first.

"Rick?"

Startled, Rick whipped his head around and saw Kate standing by his door. She hadn't put on any light, but the occasional flashes illuminated her figure enough for him to see her. He had been so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't even heard her coming in.

"Are you alright?" She asked when he didn't reply.

"Fine." Rick exclaimed tensely. Damn, his mask was a mess at the moment. He probably was an open book to anyone, and now he was really glad that she hadn't turned on any lights. "Did I wake you?"

"No. I was already awake. I'm no big fan of thunderstorms."

"It's just light and noise."

Kate scrunched her noise, closed the door to not wake her parents and walked closer to him. "I know. Still don't like it."

Rick didn't reply anything, letting silence cover the room as he watched Kate sit down next to him. His heart calmed down from the dream, the distraction of his conversation with Kate was obviously helping. Though, his fingers were still a little trembling.

"Everything okay over there." The smile was hearable in her voice as she stared at him in the darkness. The light of the lightening was enough for her to see his shrug, otherwise she wouldn't have noticed his motion. "Did something happen?"

"I remember," Rick breathed. His wall was down, he knew. As was his mask. His memory had attacked him unprepared and he'd need time to build everything up again. But for now he needed to talk to somebody about him, the wave of feelings overran him. "Just pieces, but I remember."

"What do you remember?" There was uncertainty in her voice, but also curiosity.

Rick swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm at fault for the car accident."

"Why? You had nothing to do with the drunk driver who ran over a red light and crashed into your dad's car." Kate replied, confused at his statement.

There was a brief silence before he spoke, obviously lost in his memory. "There was a party. I wanted to go, but my dad had said that I couldn't go. So I did my usual routine… taking off through my window." Rick had no idea if it had been a routine, but he remembered moving with ease and somehow he knew every move he had to make to get out unnoticed and climbing down an old three next to their apartment building, making him believe that he had done this kind of thing quite often. "However, the party went out of hand. Some drunk boys started a huge fight and the neighbor called the cops whom came and shut down the party. They called my dad to come and fetch me. Boy was he mad! Though that wasn't the worst. The worst was his disappointment in his eyes. He was giving me the cold shoulder on our way home, haven't said anything else but ordering me into the car with as less words as possible."

Rick felt a tear rolling down his cheek, his voice only a fragile whiff in the dark room. "He died while being mad and disappointed at me and my actions. That was his last feeling towards me and I can't… I can't do anything to apologize, because he's _gone_. Dead because I had to go to this stupid party."

More tears made their way down his cheeks, the dam broken, yet no sound came from him. Rick grieved in silence, and Kate put her hand on his shoulder and continued sitting next to him. She knew he wasn't in the mood to talk, and she wouldn't make him. She'd just sit there and let her presence spend some solation.

* * *

 **Tell me how you liked it.**

 **See you next week :D**

 **Till then, enjoy Castle Monday!**


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